Stress |

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• Feeling you have more responsibility but less power over events
• Assessments/ deadlines
  
• Performing in view of others
• Receiving critical feedback which may be humiliating, public or given without tact
• Disappointment or failure - however small
• Major changes - where you live, who you live with, what you do, who supports you
• Bereavement or loss of an important friendship
• Tiredness, illness or injury
• Debt
• Serious argument or legal problem
• Major uncertainty about the past, present or future
• Previous difficulties coping with stress - including depression or eating disorder

• Irritable, short-tempered, mood swinging up and down quickly
• Worrying rather than taking steps to solve
• Lack concentration, difficulty being creative, lack commitment or motivation
• Negative thoughts recur - sad, tearful, unable to cope
• Easily feeling anxious or panicky
• Muscle aches, especially in neck or shoulders
• Other physical - tachycardia, tremor, diarrhoea, nausea, headache, skin irritation
• Change in usual pattern of eating and/or sleeping
• Less sociable, more withdrawn
• Less able to organise. Arriving late or leaving early.
• Less able to decide clearly
• Lower self esteem - feeling incapable or worthless
• More forgetful or more easily confused
• Putting things off too long, especially things you don't want to do
• Often displacing what you ought to do now with what you want to do now
• Working when you have earlier decided not to - perhaps in the evening or at the weekend
• Blaming other people for how you feel. Criticising others frequently
• Deliberately using drink or drugs more often to lift your mood or calm anxiety
• Less enjoyment from what usually gives pleasure - food, socialising
• Catastrophising - thinking things have gone (or will go) badly wrong a lot of the time

• Take stock at the earliest sign of stress - what are you feeling and why are you feeling this way?

• Assess what you want to end up with and decide your immediate priorities
• Start to act to reduce the pressures being imposed on you by others
• Work on your own attitudes inside and reduce the pressures you are self-imposing
• Talk about how you are feeling with someone you trust
• Notice whenever a strategy has been successful and remember this for the future
• Remind yourself to think more about solutions than about problems

• Expect to feel stress sometimes - 'here it is now ………'
• Accept some negative feelings as reasonable
• Assess them in proportion to events
• See what can be done to improve things straight away
• Distract to lift mood but make sure this immediate solution - such as relaxing by using alcohol or spending money, or by keeping going with the help of caffeine, by eating, by not eating etc - does not cause problems in the longer-term

• Rehearse a good short-term response at times of medium stress, to experience and reinforce successful coping
• Break down a problem into smaller parts and prioritise these
• Work actively on your sense of humour - what or who helps you to laugh?
• Assess your 'load' in life realistically and acknowledge its importance. How and when will it change?
• Minimise feelings of guilt, anger, fear and sadness, which sap emotional energy. Work on a truly more accepting approach to life without denying that the problems exist and while actively seeking to reduce them. Accept that sometimes things stack up and this is temporary
• Widen your social circle - don't cut yourself off
• Say when you need to take time away from other people, especially those who emphasise negative aspects
• Actively look for support - this is not a sign of weakness. No doubt you would happily help someone yourself if they asked you, and admire them for it rather than condemn them for being inadequate
• Focus on good practical problem-solving skills and taking action in small ways before you feel overwhelmed. Notice the positive result.
• Physical activity or 'active' relaxation can increase emotional energy - walk, run, cycle, swim ….
• Counteract a tendency to be perfectionist, replacing it with the idea of things needing only to be 'good enough' - anything better then becomes an option for you to choose
• Stop comparing yourself with others - decide realistically what you could do
• Give yourself credit for achievement - take stock and appreciate what you have done that is positive
• Take stock of what you eat and drink, of when and how you relax or take exercise and of how much you need to sleep. Review your alcohol intake
• Treat yourself - plan something pleasant each day and a really enjoyable occasion at least once a week